XXX



Rated PG-13 - Running Time: 2:04 - Released 8/9/02



For an action-packed, brain-dead testosterone fest, I have to admit Rob Cohen's XXX isn't that bad. Yes, Rich Wilkes's script is full of the most corny of action dialogue, and the story is as epic in its unlikelihood as any Bond picture could be, but I think that's the point. The fiery explosions, the unmitigated villainy, the stunts, the gadgets—it's all so gleefully over-the-top, it almost lampoons the genre while taking part in it. As he showed us in last summer's The Fast And The Furious, director Cohen knows how to photograph beautiful sportscars, spectacular action footage, and Vin Diesel, and he doesn't mind leaning toward oversaturation just because he loves the pictures so much. Besides, Diesel is so cool it doesn't seem to matter. The guy has charisma. He's not only sexy, he's witty, and strong, and laughs in the face of danger. He's so cool, he knows when to act uncool. Gosh, I want to be his friend.

Okay, having said all that, I have to backpedal a little bit. I reiterate: from a logical standpoint, this movie is dumb. It starts off with a truly mindless stunt showcase that sets the pace and clearly delineates the director's tendency to overindulge. Every stunt, including cars jumping off bridges, motorcycles flying through flames, and helicopters firing missiles that blow up entire buildings, is shot from eleven different angles and shown repetitively and in slow motion, as if Cohen can't manage to cut anything; it's just too beautiful for him to let go. And the reason for it? It's all a series of tests, designed by National Security Agency bigwig Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson, putting forth a performance as stiff as the fake scar on the side of his face) to see if extreme sportsman and website video star Xander Cage, nicknamed "X" (Diesel) can go through hell and keep on smiling. Of course he can. Gibbons's plan is to hire Cage to infiltrate a group of Eastern European ex-soldiers who hope to destroy all the governments of the world with biological weapons. The group, called "Anarchy '99," is headquartered in Prague and led by Russian bad guy Yorgi (Marton Csokas) and his femme fatale, the lovely and mysterious Yelena (Asia Argento). After Cage gains their trust, he will get enough information to convict so Gibbons and his NSA "sweep team" can arrest, or kill, the terrorists. The trouble is, Cage becomes such friends with the group (especially Yelena), it becomes unclear whose side he's on. Will he be able to doublecross his hip new friends? Will he be able to sweep the girl off her feet and get her to betray her master? Will he be able to jump off that 5-story building, snowboard through an avalanche, and parasail at high speed down the Vltava River while shooting backwards at the bad guys with his 20mm submachine gun? Can you guess the answers?

There is no question that without Vin Diesel, who, by the way, also executive produced the film, this would be just the kind of movie I hate (especially since, according to the Internet Movie Database, Diesel's stuntman, Harry O'Connor, was tragically killed doing one of those spectacular stunts). The film is rife with sequel possibilities; one can see the franchise going on for years with its main character getting in all sort of crazy jams against all sorts of diabolical villains and being forced to have sex with all the most beautiful women in order to save the world time and time again. The script is so full of cheesy one-liners and the screen so full of clever gadgets and super-high-tech weaponry it goes beyond all possible reason. It's not smart; it's not trying to be smart. But Diesel's ability to play the part, with a casual, tongue-in-cheek style, somehow makes all the difference.

So...do you think he likes me? ****


Copyright 2002 by John R. McEwen and The Republican

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