Rated PG-13 - Running Time: 2:04 - Released 8/9/02
XXX
Rated PG-13 - Running Time: 2:04 - Released 8/9/02
For an action-packed, brain-dead testosterone fest, I have to
admit Rob Cohen's XXX isn't that bad. Yes, Rich Wilkes's
script is full of the most corny of action dialogue, and the story
is as epic in its unlikelihood as any Bond picture could be, but
I think that's the point. The fiery explosions, the unmitigated
villainy, the stunts, the gadgets—it's all so gleefully over-the-top,
it almost lampoons the genre while taking part in it. As he showed
us in last summer's The Fast
And The Furious, director Cohen knows how to photograph
beautiful sportscars, spectacular action footage, and Vin Diesel,
and he doesn't mind leaning toward oversaturation just because
he loves the pictures so much. Besides, Diesel is so cool it doesn't
seem to matter. The guy has charisma. He's not only sexy, he's
witty, and strong, and laughs in the face of danger. He's so cool,
he knows when to act uncool. Gosh, I want to be his friend.
Okay, having said all that, I have to backpedal a little bit.
I reiterate: from a logical standpoint, this movie is dumb.
It starts off with a truly mindless stunt showcase that sets the
pace and clearly delineates the director's tendency to overindulge.
Every stunt, including cars jumping off bridges, motorcycles flying
through flames, and helicopters firing missiles that blow up entire
buildings, is shot from eleven different angles and shown repetitively
and in slow motion, as if Cohen can't manage to cut anything;
it's just too beautiful for him to let go. And the reason for
it? It's all a series of tests, designed by National Security
Agency bigwig Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson, putting forth
a performance as stiff as the fake scar on the side of his face)
to see if extreme sportsman and website video star Xander Cage,
nicknamed "X" (Diesel) can go through hell and keep
on smiling. Of course he can. Gibbons's plan is to hire Cage to
infiltrate a group of Eastern European ex-soldiers who hope to
destroy all the governments of the world with biological weapons.
The group, called "Anarchy '99," is headquartered in
Prague and led by Russian bad guy Yorgi (Marton Csokas) and his
femme fatale, the lovely and mysterious Yelena (Asia Argento).
After Cage gains their trust, he will get enough information to
convict so Gibbons and his NSA "sweep team" can arrest,
or kill, the terrorists. The trouble is, Cage becomes such friends
with the group (especially Yelena), it becomes unclear whose side
he's on. Will he be able to doublecross his hip new friends? Will
he be able to sweep the girl off her feet and get her to betray
her master? Will he be able to jump off that 5-story building,
snowboard through an avalanche, and parasail at high speed down
the Vltava River while shooting backwards at the bad guys with
his 20mm submachine gun? Can you guess the answers?
There is no question that without Vin Diesel, who, by the way,
also executive produced the film, this would be just the kind
of movie I hate (especially since, according to the Internet Movie
Database, Diesel's stuntman, Harry O'Connor, was tragically killed
doing one of those spectacular stunts). The film is rife with
sequel possibilities; one can see the franchise going on for years
with its main character getting in all sort of crazy jams against
all sorts of diabolical villains and being forced to have sex
with all the most beautiful women in order to save the world time
and time again. The script is so full of cheesy one-liners and
the screen so full of clever gadgets and super-high-tech weaponry
it goes beyond all possible reason. It's not smart; it's not trying
to be smart. But Diesel's ability to play the part, with a casual,
tongue-in-cheek style, somehow makes all the difference.
So...do you think he likes me? ****
